no, i have not become a lesbian.

i would like to rant to you all about some recent comments that people have made to me about my 'singleness,' both by americans and zulus. i will start with the african viewpoint, seeing as how it annoyes me less.

since i have arrived here in kwazulu natal, every young woman (and every young man, for that matter) that has met me asks me if i have a boyfriend. now from the guys it makes sense, seeing as how most of them want to date/marry/have sex with an umlungu (white person), and constant harassment from them is normal. from the women, however, it is simply a question to find out more about me. the funny thing is, i have never met a woman here who is single (at least not someone in her twenties, like me). so when i answer 'no, i don't have a boyfriend,' i am bombarded with a variety of questions, all basically wondering why. it seems as though being single here is unacceptable. me trying to explain that i haven't met anyone here that i click with, that most men in my village speak very limited english, or that the 40% HIV infection rate is a bit concerning seem to do nothing to wipe away the amazement that these young woman have towards my singleness. in the beginning, i just laughed it off and accepted it as part of the culture, but now that i have been here for a year and a half, it is starting to annoy me, not to mention the fact that it is giving people the wrong idea about me. some zulus that i am better friends with think that maybe, just maybe, i am into women (which i am not). others think it is simply that no man would want to date such a strong willed, outspoken woman. while driving around a village yesterday with my coworker, i asked her if she would come to my wedding in the us if i ever got married. her response said it all. she told me that she would DEFINITELY be there, even if she had to spend all of the money in her bank account to get there, just so that she could meet the man that would marry me. she would shake his hand and say 'good luck' and tell him that 'i had a good heart,' as if that was going to make up for my faults. she just couldn't imagine the type of man who would settle down with me. and this came from one of my best friends here. i know her opinion is shared by many women at my office, and it is the direct result of me being single this whole time. no matter how many times i tell them all that i would LOVE to meet a man here that i click with, their opinion remains the same.

now i probably could handle all of this if it weren't for recent comments made by american friends (and family) both here and back home. here, i am a white girl from a country far away who does strange things anyways. opinions will always be a little skewed. but when the response from friends and family to my 'no, still single, no guys i'm interested in' is 'well have you met any girls your into?' i start to get annoyed. i am not sure when being single for a long period of time meant that you had changed teams. and to top it off, i found out that some of the other pcvs here thought i was gay with one of my friends, just because we spent a lot of time together. does anyone take the time to think about what it is like for volunteers here? that having a friend you hang out with all the time is probably your way of staying sane? that not dating anyone probably has more to do with not being able to communicate or find someone who has ANY of the same interests as me within my VILLAGE? or maybe that my reasons for not jumping into the sack with some random guy could be because of my concern for AIDS and the fact that half of my coworkers are infected? just some thoughts...

anyways, stop asking me the same questions. i am still single and still straight, and if magically either of those two things change, i will let all of you know.

other than that, life here is same same. still working in the agriculture department. still can't stand my supervisor. still live in a village and bathe in a bucket. and i am still happier than i ever was in the usa.

see some of you next month on your side of the world. and hi julie ;-)