is it time for a change?

i want to start off by saying that yesterday was my brother's 22nd birthday. i cannot believe that is has been a full year since i helped my brother celebrate 21 in chicago. i don't think it was what he had in mind for his 21st, but we had fun and hit up some sites together and to be honest, it was the last time that we really spent time together before i left (not sure what went down over xmas). anyways, HAPPY BIRTHDAY LITTLE BROTHER!! it seems as though both of us are now at the point in our lives where our next 'big birthday' is 30. how scary is that.

moving on to things pertaining to my life, i got my dear little cat shobi shobi castrated yesterday. poor little guy is no longer a man. now the reason i am sharing this with the few people that read my blog is not because my cat is the only thing i have to talk about but because the process of me taking my cat to the vet both entertained and annoyed me greatly. as you may know, i cannot drive while i am here so i depend fully on public transportation aka the taxis. every morning i walk about ten minutes to get to the place where i catch a taxi in the morning. yesterday, shobi shobi accompanied me on the walk, stuffed nicely in his plastic lunch basket i bought as his carrier. as one would expect, he was angry at what i was doing to him, so he meowed and meowed from his little cage. when it was time to get on the taxi, he had a little fit in the basket and made everyone in the taxi stare at me with disgust (mind you he is inside a contained area and not really bothering anyone). i apologize and take a seat in the back, putting the basket on my lap. the entire 20 minute ride into town, people kept turning around and glaring at my cat. i was able to calm him down by petting him and he meowed maybe 5 times during the ride, but each time some person sitting in front of me turned and glared. now i know that most zulus don't like cats but lets not pretend like this is the first animal they have seen on a taxi. it is very common for chickens to be in boxes or bags, squawking and flapping in their containers, angry at the world. and i have even had friends who have had goats on their taxis, leading me to believe that animals are not off limits. what bothered me about this whole situation is that most people in my village know me, so the mistakes and strange things i do usually don't get the look of hate but instead that kind look of silly umlungu. but no, they were not forgiving at all about my cat and it pissed me off. if i had any other choice, i would not have taken a damn taxi!!

hours later, when i brought poor shobi shobi home, he was still drugged up and resembled a drunk person. he would wobble when he walked, fall over, then get up and wobble some more. then he peed on my bed and puked on the floor. don't know about you but all of those things have happened to me at one time or another while intoxicated...

moving on, the title of this blog comes from my current attempt at a site change. basically, i am fed up with my back/knee problems and want to be closer to a physical therapist. i also want running water so i can stop carrying water altogether, which is heavy even in smaller quantities. and to be honest, i have been at my current site for almost 8 months and i don't see myself fitting in here in any sort of role other than that of administrative assistant, which is not what i came here to do. most of the problem is me and not knowing really what i want to do. however, i feel as though too much time has passed now and i cannot break out of the role that i have been shoved in. most days i still spend doing nothing and it drives me nuts. basically, i have had enough...

i am looking into an organization in durban called the aids foundation. i have contacted them and plan to meet them sometime over the next couple of weeks. if they decide they want me (which they may not) i would move to durban and work under their director of research. the idea of all of this excites me so much that i really hope it works out. finally, i might have work that entertains me or at least makes me think. and i would be living in a city which is what i wanted all along. i also could see a physical therapist without having to take an hour taxi ride to the next city. wouldn't it be lovely!?!?!

lets hope it works out. for your sake and mine!

the view from outside the US...

i realized today how interesting it is to be outside the US on an election day. the news this morning was all about the election (understandably) but what fascinated me most was not the random interviews with americans living in south africa but was instead the news clips on election activity occuring in other african countries. there were parties and celebrations in kenya (again, not surprising) but they also discussed musicals/plays that have been made about barack obamas life. and in nigeria, they showed cars driving around with barack obama bumper stickers, exactly the same as the ones in america. i suppose an election like this is a rare occurance. not all presidential nominees are half black. not all have relatives that live in africa. but to see the excitement of africans for our potential future president makes me smile and proves to me just how global this world is... even on this continent that so many people see as dark and underdeveloped. it is not often that a majority of the world gets excited about an election.

i would go on to other, more personal topics now but i find that nothing exciting is going on in my life these days. i am still alive however, and i suppose that is the most important part.

i also have a new tattoo. that makes five.